Who is the Self and Why Does it have such a Big Ego?
When people are moving through significant life transitions, they often find themselves worrying about the past or future, over-thinking, having insecurities and doubts. They tend to experience more emotional highs and lows and are more easily triggered by volatile, uncertain, complex, and ambiguous situations. Sometimes there is a loss of purpose or direction and with that can come feelings of fear and uncertainty.
Although emotions and thoughts are often triggered by external events, our ability to manage our response is dependent on the quality of our mind and how ‘inclined’ we are with our mind. When we’re in a connected and balanced space we have a higher capacity to work through these afflictions. We stay grounded, and there is a sense of self-control that enables us to handle such challenges.
However, when our mind is bombarded with persistent thoughts, overwhelmed with emotions, and weighed down by a list of burdens, it has less capacity to handle the difficulties that emerge. We have less patience with those around us. Our mind gets stuck in a loop of persistent negative and unhelpful thoughts. We feel stuck in the mind and before we know it, the ego takes over.
What Is Our Ego?
Our ego is a combination of our emotions, thoughts, and beliefs which all come together to form our identity. It is what enables us to function in the world safely as healthy human beings. For this reason, our ego is important, and it is necessary to have a strong and healthy ego, one that is grounded, stable and feels whole in itself. However, problems arise if we are too identified or attached to this ego as we become limited by it and we can’t see or move beyond it.
Having a strong ego doesn’t mean we need to be consumed by it. We can have the ego, our identity, and the stories that make us who we are, while also stepping back from them. When we step back from them, we can observe our reactive selves and notice things such as how we’re triggered by our environment, how we respond to others in communication and what causes our emotions to arise. We can also start to recognize which parts of ourselves we like and which parts we try to suppress or deny. Ideally, we want to reach a point of being able to recognise our stories and our emotions so that we can navigate the challenges we’re inevitably going to face throughout live. When we observe the ego in this way, then we operate from a calm, connected, expansive, and soul centred space.
If you are going through change or transition in your life and you are experiencing a lot of emotions, insecurities, or doubts, then take a moment to sit with your breath and observe the content of your mind. Observe your body and notice what is present. See if you can create space and step back from your experiences and become the observer of them. Notice that what is present in your mind is always temporary. How does this awareness create a shift for you?